is it just me or does “i have always known I was queer since a young age” dominate the overwhelming majority of queer narratives?
i find this BAFFLING because I (like many of the people i have talked to) were like “no I convinced myself I was straight for like FOREVER” or just the “I didn’t realize it wasn’t the same as what everyone else felt??” like
i have heard those two stories WAY MORE irl than the “oh i always knew” story
I think the problem is people don’t take you seriously if you don’t confirm to that narrative.
There’s this weird emphasis on you are gay or straight one of the other and you have to KNOW. There’s no room figuring it out or any other ground in the media. To be taken seriously you have to say I was born this way.
You have to build this barricade this fortress of I am, I know, or people just dismiss you off hand.
There’s something wrong that.
I came a long long way to where I am now with my identity and I haven’t always known.
Bisexual, queer, gay, gender non-conforming, bi gender, gender fluid, heck even lesbian were not words I had in my vocabulary when I was young.
There was no way I could have tried them on and found the ones that fit.
What is worse there was no one to give me these words so that I could know.
Mainstream society doesn’t give you these words, my parents sure as shit didn’t give me those kinds of words. I had to find them and it was a journey.
This journey is on going. However my voice can’t be taken seriously because I have not yet ‘arrived’ and what is worse even when I do arrive my story is less pure, less marketable, less legitimate, because I have not always known.
And it SUCKS.